i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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