I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
