she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
