mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
