I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
zippers are such a cool invention
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
