There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
