Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
