i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
