I didn't shave. On purpose
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Randomize
