i permit you to call me
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize