1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
