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Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
