also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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