Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
