sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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