what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
