Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
