When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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