He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
