What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize