I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
