you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize