You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
