Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
