He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Drake has all the answers
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
