Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
You left your phone here
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