You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
