K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
