I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
is it fun? or sober?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
