it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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