Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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