If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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