I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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