is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
