yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
