woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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