Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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