new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm at about main and main street
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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