Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize