i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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