I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
