Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
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