seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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