What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
