Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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