Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
