I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize