Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Randomize
