Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
