Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
