Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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