It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
