I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
