Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize