Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
