and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
