i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
is that a dick in a sweater?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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